Hey, Mama
Hi, friends. It's Christmas week if you're listening to this in real time, and I wanted to give you a special gift. And even if it's not Christmas when you're listening, I hope that this gift literally hits you at divine timing.
This is a free bundle that I made for mamas. I have gone through a lot of my own transformation and parenting over the last six years of having kids and lately my heart is really on deeper fire for mamas and just the support we need as a global community. So if you're a mama, buckle your seat, this one's for you. If you're not, I hope that you share this with a mama, or you use this for a niece or nephew in your life.
I just wanted to say that if you don't have a community and you are a mama, I just want to encourage you to set the intention for next year to have stronger women in your life that support you as a mama. Personally, I know that I would be helpless without my therapist, my coach, and friends that support me in this journey of motherhood.
So that's just what I wanted this episode to be a little bit about and there's a specific tool that I want to share with you — a free PDF, something that I developed about four years ago, that has been a game changer. They're called the Calming Tools and they have been such a game changer for my kids when it comes to helping them manage their emotions and working on behaviors that need improving. And honestly, it's been helpful for me to use these calming tools.
>>Download The Calming Tools
So let's dive in and talk about these tools.
So let me take you back a little bit. So my son was born in 2014. My daughter was born two years later in 2016, the same year I started my business and I was really struggling. I had a two-year-old and a newborn and all the behavior stuff was coming to a head.
I actually wrote a Facebook post that talks about some of my thoughts and my evolution around the concept of spanking and why I've taken a strong stance against it. But I was really going through this crisis of figuring out what I believe as a mom.
What are my values? What am I going to stand by? Even if it's unpopular with other people in my circle, am I going to take a stand for what I believe as a parent? And what the heck am I even doing all of that?
And so I ran across some incredible experts, including Janet Lansbury and Ralphie Jacobs. I started really coming across what people call “gentle parenting.” And as I was Google searching, I found these little graphics that someone was using to make these emotion tool charts. So I ended up creating my own emotion tool charts and printing them off and using these with my kids.
Obviously I'm not a perfect parent.
My children are not perfectly behaved, but it really created a huge shift for me as a tool I could use that I felt aligned with to help my kids and we're through behavior.
A lot of my friends saw these charts on my wall and asked me, “Anna, where did you get those?” So I went to go search for those little graphics but I could not find them anywhere and began to wonder what I could do. One of my best friends, Jessica, is a teacher and she more recently in the last year was talking about the site called Teachers Pay Teachers and suggested I look for the original designer on there.
So I searched and sure enough, I found the designer of the little clip arts that I had used and stumbled upon on the internet before. So I felt good about it and I paid her for the clip art and redesigned these tools that I had made. Now I feel good about sharing them because I've actually paid her to use these beautiful images.
>>Download The Calming Tools
There’s two main phases of the charts.
So one of the charts shows all these kids with emotions and the first question I ask, one of my littles when they're overwhelmed is how are you feeling? And then we point to one of the little kids' faces, one's feeling shocked. You know, I use these with my son today and he told me that he was feeling shocked and sad. He was upset with me about something.
After you identify how your little feels, then you ask them which tool they want to use. In the situation from above, my son had hit me because he was upset but it turns out he was shocked and sad. So we talked about instead of hitting, what are you going to do instead?
This is a great way to be able to de-escalate your kid's brain when they're feeling really triggered and overwhelmed. I have those two main charts and then I also did a yoga flow chart and breathing and mindfulness tools that I actually learned as a therapist when I did my practicum in an elementary school. Anyway, it's like this all encompassing thing that you can use either as a PDF on your wall, or you can print them as little flip decks. I really recommend you print them on and display them on your wall because the tricky part in the heat of the moment is to remember to use them. But when they're on your wall, you remember.
So what I want to do is give you a hundred percent free access to use these and download and to share these with your friends, because really these have been such a game changing tool for me and my family. I also have a Google doc where I run you through the steps of how to use them.
I hope that this is useful.
This is honestly one of my top parenting tools that I use and I hope that this gift is helpful for you, especially because during the holidays when things are more stressful for our littles but also for us. So it's time to be extra good about taking care of ourselves.
>> Download The Calming Tools
Remember, it doesn't have to be complicated. It really doesn’t. But it's remembering to do it, that is so, so key to success.
So finally, I just want to close by reading you a note that I wrote to you.
Being a mom is hard. Remember, we are in the middle of a freaking pandemic. So if you are struggling, please, please reach out for help. There is nothing more brave than to raise your hand, text a friend, set up a session with a therapist and just admit that you are feeling stuck. Even if it’s “not that bad” or “other moms have it worse” or “you have nothing to complain about” or “you should be able to figure it out on your own,” get help.
Like I said, at the start of this, I would not be able to make it through the week without speaking to my friends or a therapist or mom or coach around something in parenting. And I just want to normalize struggling and getting help.
Lastly, if you don't have a support network right now, if you heard me talk at the start of this podcast and we're like, yeah, that's great, but I don't have a community of mamas, I don't have people that support me in this, know that you are not alone, really set the intention for the next year to call in some amazing supportive mama friends know that you're not alone.
I truly believe that as moms, we're a part of something bigger than ourselves.
You are a part of a global motherhood collective, and that includes me. I'm in it with you. So know that you're not alone in this reach out to someone. Honestly from one mama to another mama, I just want to send you some massive, massive love today. And I just want to thank you for being on me in this journey of motherhood.
>>Download The Calming Tools
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PS: In the midst of this challenging time I’ve been asking myself what I can do to help? One of the #1 ways I support my clients is by helping them simplify their business so that they can increase the flow of money without creating extra work. In this season simplified visibility and sales is needed more than ever.
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